A pirate walks into a pub. Another patron, having never met a pirate before, wants to know the stories behind the battle scars.
He buys the pirate a pint, and strikes up a conversation.
“How’d you get the peg leg?”
“Shark took off me leg in the South Seas.”
“How about that hook?”
“Lost the hand in a sword fight.”
“And the eye patch?”
“Seagull pooped in me eye.”
“Are seagull droppings really that dangerous?”
“No, but it were me first day with the hook.”