Three men die and are standing in line at the pearly gates. St. Peter tells them that the rules have changed, and they can only be let in to heaven now if they have had a really bad death. He then proceeds to get their stories one at a time.
The first man explains. “I live on the 25th floor of my apartment building. I came home from work early today, because I suspected my wife was cheating on me.
There she was, naked as the day she was born. I look around, and spot two hands gripping the balcony.
There’s a man hanging from my balcony, in just his underwear, 25 floors above the ground! I step on the bastards fingers, he won’t let go.
I bite his fingers, he wouldn’t let go. Finally I grab a hammer, that did the trick and he fell. But then the lucky bastard landed in some bushes and survived!!
So I yanked the fridge loose, shoved it over the balcony, and it landed directly on the bastard! But I’m afraid all that exertion gave me a heart attack, so here I am.”
St. Peter decided that was a bad enough death and let him in, then proceeded to get the second guys story. The man looked quite confused.
“I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building. I work the night shift, so I wake up in the early afternoon. I had just woken up, and was doing my exercises on my balcony when I slipped.
But thank God, I caught the railing on the balcony below mine. I was saved! There I was, hanging 25 floors above the ground, when suddenly this crazy man came out screaming.
He stepped on my fingers, I held on. He bit my fingers, I held on still. But then the bastard grabbed a hammer! I couldn’t handle that and I let go.
Just as I expected to die, I landed in some bushes and lived!! It was a miracle! As I started to thank God for letting me live, this fridge just falls out of the sky and lands on me. So here I am.”
St. Peter decided that was definitely a bad death and lets him in. Then he asks the last guy for his story, this man also looked confused.
“Picture this: I’m hiding naked inside a fridge…”